News For January 2000 January 16, 2000 Back In Mother Fucking Business!! IN DAVE WE TRUST      Guess who's back in circulation! We don't know what you might have heard but the outrageous, drunken leader of the Reform (Van Halen) Party is once again leading the charge for rock n' roll fans everywhere..Sgt. Slingblade himself has announced that the DLR Army is "back in motherfuckin' business." Time to storm the castle, rescue the damsel in distress and make it to the bar just in time for Happy Hour (complete with a complementary nacho bar)! After a brief leave it's time to re-enlist Weekend Warriors, and fight to support Diamond David Lee Roth and his army of DLRML supporters. Where else are you going to get the up-to-the-minute news, rare photos and screaming, streaming RealAudio to fill your filthy little eyes and ears? This is the pure, uncut, uncensored, unadulterated stuff. This is where classic Van Halen is celebrated (and mourned) and Diamond Dave reigns as the supreme toastmaster of the immoral majority, the King of Any and All Things Rock n' Roll.      So where have we been, what have we been up to? Stockpiling weapons of mass entertainment, conquering foreign bands and, in general, laying waste to a rag-tag army of Sammy Hagar fans (what the fuck is a Waborita anyway?) who got in our way. As for Gary Cherone? Don't ask, don't tell seems to be the latest from the Van Halens. As their search for a new singer continues DLR has been rumored as a candidate to helm the once-Mighty VH. No word from the Roth camp about the proposed reunion other than "There is only one singer for Van Halen, and that's David Lee Roth." We agree. And we'll fight for the right of all Dave fans to make their voices heard. Nobody rules these streets at night but us. More obnoxious and obstinate than Jesse Helms after a scotch and Viagra milk shake, join our growing legion of fans dedicated to honoring the Commander in Chief of  Rock n' Roll - David Lee Roth. News For Jan 16, 2000 DAVE TV! Worth a million bucks and then some. The Mighty VH, reduced to a trivia question? Hardly. But Van Halen was mentioned Saturday on the ABC trivia phenomenon "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" The question, "Who wasn't a singer for Van Halen?" had four possible answers; our spiritual guide and master of mojo Diamond Dave, the singer from Styx Dennis DeYoung, poofy-haired solo artist Sammy Hagar, and some guy named Gary Cherone (?). The goofy looking contestant said he knew his DLR and picked the "incorrect" answer, Dennis DeYoung.  Now ain't that a bitch! Winning cash for a wrong answer. The correct response is, of course, "Regis, there was only one singer for Van Halen — Diamond Dave Lee Roth. And yes, that's my motherfucking final answer!" He later went on to lose the game. We'll see how Van Halen fares as they continue to consider lead singer candidates and may explore a Santana-esque solution featuring different vocalists for each track. It was something they considered after Dave first split in 1985 (what one person could replace him anyway). At this rate next year's question could be "Who hasn't been the singer in Van Halen?" Van Halen will also be featured on VH-1's "100 Greatest Rock N' Roll Songs Ever" special Monday at 10 p.m. E.S.T. "Jump" earned Daveera-VH a mention at #95. Music industry insiders and artists voted participated in the survey. What, they never heard of "Unchained," "Hot For Teacher," "Everybody Wants Some," or "Dance the Night Away"?   News For 25 Jan, 2000 Might as well... JUMP! The fine folks at VH-1 polled 700 musicians and industry types to come up with a list of the 100 Greatest Rock N' Roll Songs ever. Of the numerous singles, hits and covers that Van Halen has recorded during its career only one, "Jump," was featured.  Regarded as a major stylistic change for the guitar-driven band,   "Jump" leapt onto radio charts as the band was finishing the "1984" release. Though the sound of the band was different, David Lee Roth's vocals and sardonic lyrics proved their attitude (at least his attitude) was still intact. The spirit and energy of the song, not to mention the video, were just hints of the completed record and world tour to come. While the song's keyboard intro has gone on to become one of the most recognizable pieces of music composed in the 1980s, Roth's lyrics and stunning vocal performance are what have kept us interested and singing along some 16 years later. The song's video, filmed on a conservative budget, was one of the first memorable performance videos on MTV and other music video programs. It's classic Dave captured forever on tape.  If there is any doubt that the Dave and the boys once played as a solid, dedicated unit watch the chemistry between members of the band in that video. They were America's Band, the guys you most wanted to be or be with - they were kings. Probably the most covered or re-recorded of any Van Halen's signature songs the Canadian band The Barenaked Ladies are most noted for having performed the tune live. The group has often trotted out "Jump" for encores sans Diamond Dave's fancy footwork. Actress Cameron Diaz, a devoted heavy metal fan, remarked in Rolling Stone that Dave's lyrics are "brilliant." News For 1/31/2000 VH 2000 - WTF?      As we celebrate the First Anniversary of the DLR Army website (with a parade of dancing girls and booze flowing freely throughout the DLR Army bunker) this weekend's rumors of David Lee Roth's return to VH have come to our attention.      This weekend Rolling Stone Magazine released an online story headlined "Diamond Dave May Be Back With Van Halen." In it, Jaan Uhelszki writes that DLR announced plans his trial marriage with Van Halen, in the works at Eddie Van Halen's 5150 studio at a Hollywood strip joint called Crazy Girls. The band, Uhelszki said, had recorded two songs for an upcoming release with Dave on vocals.      As much as we would enjoy it if this was indeed true, let us remind you loyal soldiers that Rolling Stone was among the first to break the news that David Coverdale (perish the thought) was to become the band's new singer and that he had recorded 21 songs with Ed and co. Also last weekend, a Toledo radio station announced that Dave "is back as the singer in Van -freaking-Halen." Later on in the day a disc jockey at the same station announced that VH was currently looking for a new lead singer and that "Sebastian Bach had been contacted for the job but turned it down."      So which story do you believe?      No matter what you see, hear, read, know that the DLR Army is on this motherfucker. When we hear something that we think is for real, we'll be the first to let you know. Until then, don't hold your breath and don't bet the farm. As for today, we'd like to thank the thousands of enlisted personnel who frequent the page and help make our little piece of cyberspace the best DLR Fan Page in the universe. You do us right, and we will continue to do you right as long as we can - and that means sometimes twice a night! Thanks again for your continued support and here's to what Dave has in store for us in 2000. Cheers! Link RollingStone.com  News Update. - Sgt. Slingblade and the cast and crew of the DLR Army To email the article you just read above to someone else {click here}